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MESSAGE #1013 ANGER

Today’s message is especially dedicated to all the players out there who have anger management issues.

I once had a student who would often get angry at himself after losing a point. And by once, I mean, I “often” have students who get angry and negative during competition.

Negativity and anger are common challenges for competitive players, but here’s the good news…

This can be overcome with training (just like fixing your backhand).

What do you say to yourself after you lose a point?

“I can’t believe you missed that shot!”

“You stink!”

“What’s wrong with you?!?”

Let’s analyze this voice for a second…

Does this “inner coach” help you perform better?

Of course not. What if a real coach spoke like this to their player? Wouldn’t you find a new coach?

If this is an issue for you, you need to find a new “inner coach.”

This inner coach should say something like…

“No problem. How can I make an adjustment? Good, now let’s focus on the next point.”

“That point is in the past, let’s focus on the next one.”

“You’re still in control. Let’s go!”

What you say to yourself between points will determine how you play and what kind of results you get.

How do YOU want to play and what kind of results do YOU want to get?

Remember this secret formula: S + A = R (Situation plus Attitude equals Result).

MESSAGE #1012 VIDEO BLOG FROM ORLANDO

In this video blog, Ed Tseng spends 2.5 days at the Human Performance Institute in Orlando, Florida for a mental toughness certification.

MESSAGE #1011 HANGING OUT WITH A CHAMPION

One thing that I have learned here in Orlando talking to some great coaches and mental toughness experts is this…

Champions are not normal.

They don’t have normal brains.

Lorenzo Beltrame shared a story about when he beat Pete Sampras twice on clay during a training session. He didn’t know how to console “Pistol” but before he could think of something, Pete said “This is great! I feel like I’m playing well and ready!”

That is not normal.

And last night I spent some time with Mark Dickson, former World #32, who has beaten Lendl and was even Agassi’s doubles partner. He was telling me about the days leading up to his match with Lendl, then #1 in the world. He visualized his strategy every day and EXPECTED to beat him. In his mind, he thought, “I can’t believe I’m going to beat the World #1.” And then he did in 45 minutes. I asked Dickson if he ever went into a match thinking he didn’t have a chance. He said “No.” And when he did lose, he thought, “What a great learning experience!”

That is not normal!

Well today I will be wrapping up a great 2.5 days at the Human Performance Institute and heading back home. Next stop, Philadelphia!

Have a great day everyone!

Homework: Don’t be normal today.

MESSAGE #1010 I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!

I had an amazing day yesterday (despite no sleep the night before) at the Human Performance Institute with Lorenzo Beltrame, who has worked with Pete Sampras and Jim Courier. Mark Dickson (US Open Quarter Finalist in Singles and Doubles and founder of the Mark Dickson Tennis Academy) and mental training coach, Rob Polishook (Inside the Zone)were there as well.

We had a great day talking about the keys to mental toughness and sharing stories.

As I was looking through my notes last night, I found a great quote by Horace Mann…

If an idiot were to tell you the same story everyday for a year, you would end by believing it.

So create the story of the player/person you WANT to be…write it down (by hand) and tell it to yourself over and over again.

And now for Day 2. Time for some breakfast and get picked up by the Mark Dickson Tennis Wagon…stay tuned.

MESSAGE #1009 LIVE FROM ORLANDO!

So here I am at the hotel in Orlando getting ready to start a two and a half day workshop on mental toughness at the Human Performance Institute created by the great Jim Loehr, who has worked with Pete Sampras, Monica Seles, Jim Courier and many more.

I did not sleep at all. I was too excited about learning, networking and whatever else the next 2.5 days have in store. But I feel good. I feel REALLY good. In my insomnia, I read a great story from “Zen Golf” by Dr. Joseph Parent. Here it is…

 

A young man had a clay statue, a family heirloom. He’d always wished that it were bright shiny gold instead of plain brown clay. When he began to earn a living, he put aside a little now and then, until he had enough for his special project: to have his statue covered with gold.

Now it looked just the way he wanted it to, and people admired it. He felt very proud that he had a gold statue. However, the gold-plating didn’t stick to the clay very well, and it wasn’t long before it began to flake off in spots. So he had it gold-plated again. Soon he found himself using all his time and resources to maintain the gold facade of his statue.

One day his grandfather returned from a journey of many years. The young man wanted to show him how he had made the clay statue into a gold one. However, clay was showing through in many spots, so he was somewhat embarrassed.

The old man smiled and held the statue lovingly. With a moist cloth he gently rubbed it and gradually dissolved some of the clay. “Many years ago, the statue must have fallen in the mud and become covered with it. As a very young child, you wouldn’t have known the difference. You forgot, and thought it was just a clay statue. But look here.”

He showed his grandson the place where the clay was removed, and a bright yellow color shone through. “Underneath the covering of clay, your statue has been solid gold from the very beginning. You never needed to put more gold on to cover the clay. Now that you know what its nature really is, all you have to do is gently remove the clay and you’ll reveal the gold statue you’ve possessed all along.”

 

You have all of the ability and all of the gold already inside you…you just have to discover the strategies for success.

Work hard, focus on the positive and start removing the clay that has built up from years of conditioning and negative events. Don’t let society, others and your own thoughts tell you what your potential is. I already know what it is…

Solid gold.

MESSAGE #1008 WHAT I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF…

One of the things I like about myself is that I have a growth mindset – I LOVE learning. I love what I do so much that I don’t want to go to bed at night and I can’t wait to get up in the morning.

Well in a few hours I will be hopping a flight from Philadelphia International Airport to Orlando, Florida to attend a mental toughness certification program for 2.5 days. The goal is to learn more about my craft. People say that I have become successful, but I don’t look at it that way;  I will never say that “I’ve made it,” or “I know it all.”

I will never know it all. The sky’s the limit.

Carol Dweck, author of one of my favorite books, “MINDSET: The New Psychology of Success” and professor at Stanford University talks about fixed and growth mindsets.

“I think enjoyment is key.  You have to have a passion for what you do.  It’s not about your parents pushing you or your coach threatening you.  It’s about you just wanting to be better and loving every minute of it.  Not every minute, but most of it.”

I learn from everyone I can, from experts like Dweck, strangers, children…ANYONE.

I use all the brains I have and all that I can borrow. – WINSTON CHURCHILL

Next blog entry from sunny Florida…

MESSAGE #1007 LET IT FLOW

Have you ever been in the zone?

Didn’t the tennis ball look like a beach ball?

EXERCISE

Part One: Look around you and find a nearby object, like a pen or piece of paper. Now slowly reach for it tightening every muscle in your body. Move as slow as you can. Now slowly bring it to your chest and slowly place it down back where you found it.

Part Two: Now reach for the same object normally and bring it to your chest and back.

Didn’t it feel effortless the second time? When you’re in the zone (or as I like to say, “the state of ‘ON'”) you are just flowing; you are just doing.

When we think too much, especially about negative things, we mentally tighten up just like when you were physically reaching for that object a moment ago.

When you mentally tighten up, your mind is not clear and therefore your body won’t function at peak performance.

Your effort should be ALL-OUT…

But your attitude should be A LITTLE RELAXED.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend. -BRUCE LEE

MESSAGE #1006 WHAT WINNERS DO WHEN THEY LOSE…

I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed. -CHI CHI RODRIGUEZ, golfer

How do you react when you miss a shot, or lose a match?

MESSAGE #1005 THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WINNERS AND LOSERS

“If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don’t care what the scoreboard says. At the end of the game, in my book, we’re gonna be winners.”
-COACH NORMAN DALE, Hoosiers

MESSAGE #1003 MIND GAMES

“After each of us got a drink, I made my way to the baseline. Panic started to expand inside me like poison gas. My legs felt wobbly and my breathing grew rapid. This was too big of an occasion to blow it because of prematch jitters.”
(“I Against I” by James Martin, Tennis Magazine, May 2010)

Does this scenario sound familiar?

These feelings started BEFORE the match even began, but it happens all the time.

These feelings are normal.

I get nervous before every talk I give, but I know that I do not have to act how I feel. I act confident and energetic and then something amazing happens, I start FEELING confident and energetic. Most people act how they feel and then they get results that they don’t like. It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s a choice. When the catcher in baseball gives the pitcher a sign for a fastball, curveball, changeup, etc, the pitcher has the choice to “shake the catcher off” and choose a different sign or pitch. You don’t have to live in your negative feelings. Accept them, and then act how you want to feel.

You can use this principle in any area of life.

And you can start today.