If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten,
either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.

My only question to you is…


If you’re a writer, write things that are worth reading. But if you’re not a writer, do things worth writing about.

I may not know you, but I know THIS about you…


1. You have unlimited potential.

2. All of the ability is already inside you (you just have to discover the strategy).

3. You can learn any skill, mental or physical.

4. You can’t win when you’re focused on winning.

5. You don’t have to be great at the start, but you need to start to be great.


So today is the only day that matters. Why?

Because you can only live one day at a time.

Make every day the most important day of your life.

Make every practice the most important practice of your life.

Make every competition the most important competition of your life.

If you do this, I’m sure you will be pleased with the results.

Go all out today!


It’s not what’s happening around you. It’s not what’s happening to you. What matters most is what’s happening inside you.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Steven Nakagama Magee in Millburn, NJ.


Think back to a “good day” in your sport. Visualize what went on before, during and after that peak performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Now go back to a “bad day” that you had. Visualize what went on before, during and after that poor performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Compare the two.

The difference is always in your head.

So what does this mean?

It means you have to be mindful of your self-talk during practice and competition.

Instead of breaking yourself down, build yourself up.


“Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

So here I am entering my most enjoyable blog message.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy all of my blog messages, but today’s is especially delicious, I mean, enjoyable.

I’m sitting here at DeLorenzo’s Tomato Pies in Robbinsville, NJ. I have wireless internet (stolen from the sushi place next door), an outlet for my laptop and two amazing pies on the way (one 1/2 sweet peppers and onions, 1/2 garlic and one of the owner’s favorite, anchovies, garlic, no cheese…burnt).

Today was my day off, but I gave a mental coaching session and then taught a ladies doubles clinic. I love what I do and don’t mind putting in the hours.

Now I’m blogging during lunch at one of my favorite pizza places on the planet. Again, I don’t consider blogging, work.

Someone recently said that they were jealous of me because I love what I do.

Why can’t you?

I’m not saying to quit your job, but…

-Start doing more of what you love
-Start making a difference
-Think of creative ways you can monetize
-Enjoy the whole process

It’s Friday…are you happy the weekend is here?

I sure am, not because I’m NOT working, but because I AM working…

But for now, I’m off. Time to enjoy my pizza.

Make every day delicious!

Thank you, Sam Amico and DeLorenzo’s Tomato Pies!!

Talk to you tomorrow.


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

(Thanks to the great Jake Putnam in Boise, Idaho for sharing)


There once was a woman, she was the envy of all her friends-she had two boyfriends, Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom both knew about each other. This went on for a couple of years.

Well, one Friday evening, Bob picked her up as he normally did on Friday evenings. But Bob who is normally late, was right on time. And Bob who was normally dressed casually, wore a suit. And Bob who normally was pretty mellow, was a bit excited. So they went to dinner but instead of going to their normal restaurant/bar to eat, they went to a fancy restaurant. They had a wonderful meal and right before dessert, Bob takes out a jewelry box from his jacket pocket and proposes marriage. And the woman says the worst possible thing, aside from a flat-out no. She said, “I have to think about it.” So the Bob was upset and took the woman home.

The woman was sad…until the next night, when Tom picked her up.

So Tom who is normally right on time, was early. And Tom who is normally in a suit, wore a tuxedo. And Tom who normally was energetic, was extremely high energy. They went to dinner but instead of going to their normal fancy restaurant, this night was the country club. They had a wonderful meal and right before dessert, Tom takes out a jewelry box from his jacket pocket and proposes marriage. And the woman says the worst possible thing, aside from a flat-out no. She said, “I have to think about it.” Tom was upset and took the woman home.

The woman sat lying in bed feeling miserable, going from two boyfriends to no boyfriends. But fortunately, the only woman who could help her showed up-her fairy godmother. “You don’t look like your normal self, what’s wrong?” the fairy godmother asked.

“Bob took me out Friday night and we had a nice time, but then he proposed to me and I said I have to think about it. Then Tom took me out Saturday night and we had a great time, but then he proposed to me and I said I have to think about it. I don’t know who to choose!”

“That’s easy. All you have to do is take two pieces of paper and on the top of one write Bob and on the top of the other, write Tom. Take as long as you need and write down the one thing you love most about each of them and then your answer will instantly come to you.”

So the woman took the piece of paper with Bob on it and thought and thought and thought and three hours later she figured out what she loved most about Bob. Then, she took the sheet with Tom on it and it took her another three hours, but she figured out what she loved most about Tom…and her answer instantly came to her.

A little while later, her fairy godmother showed up and looked at her. “Oh, you look like your normal self. Have you come to a decision?”

“Oh yes, I choose Bob!” exclaimed the woman.

“Great, but just out of curiosity, what did you write on Tom’s piece of paper?”

“Well, when I’m with Tom, I feel that he’s the most wonderful person in the whole world!”

“Really?” said the fairy godmother, puzzled. “Then why did you choose Bob?!”

“Because when I’m with Bob, I feel that I’M the most wonderful person in the whole world.”


So that’s the whole thing – it’s about others.

The best partners make the relationship better.

The best athletes make the team better.

The best business owners make the employees better.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…and Happy Birthday to the great Kory Kahler and my friend, Valentine Barnaby, former Rutgers, NFL and Arena football player.


I am very thankful for all of my blog readers…have a safe and grateful holiday.


Happy Bob Ryland Day to everyone in Mobile, Alabama…and also, of course to the great Bob Ryland in NYC.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to Coach Mark L in Singapore.

Here’s an email I received at 5:19 this morning from Singapore…

Hi Ed
I just want to thank you for helping me be a better coach and also a better person. Hope you don’t mind if I sometimes, share with some of my students your inspiring words & examples. Every time I feel down, all it takes is me reading your blog and I feel energize and positive again. Just one question if I may, how do you handle students who have bad attitudes? Some of my fellow coaches have advise me to be firm, scold or even kick them outta of class, but I feel that’s pretty negative and is not a longer term solution.
Many thanks & have a great day too.

Mark L (Singapore)

Here is my response…

Hi Mark,
Thank you for your email and kind words – I love hearing from readers. I also have much gratitude for you reading my daily blog. How did you find it, and what sport do you coach?

Of course I don’t mind you sharing my blog messages with your students. Many coaches print my messages and hand them out to their students. You may also be interested in my book, “Game. Set. Life. – Peak Performance for Sports and Life.” as well.

To answer your question about how to handle students with bad attitudes, I will begin with this…

Praise in public, scold in private.

Here’s what I mean – the best thing to do is catch students doing something right and then say something like, “Bobby, I like how you hustled for that ball!”

Then, that will register with Bobby and he is more likely to do that again.

If you put Bobby down, or punish Bobby, you may get some results, but he will not respect you or have fun.

There may be times when you need to be more stern with Bobby. Wait until after class and tell him that you like him and want him to improve. That you expect a lot out of him and he should expect a lot out of himself. In some cases, Bobby may be extremely bad, then you may warn him that he may have to find a different class, but that would be a last resort.

Once I was teaching a boy who had all the talent in the world, but clearly wasn’t having fun and had a poor attitude. I tried everything, but nothing worked. So finally, when we were picking up balls one day, I asked him if he liked tennis. He said, “No, my mom makes me come.”

I said, “Well, since you’re here, let’s make the most of it and have some fun.” I began asking him what he DID enjoy doing and he mentioned some video games and TV shows. I talked to him about them and then something amazing happened. He started smiling a bit. And then he started smiling a lot. His feet started moving and he began hitting the fuzz off of the ball! He became an enthusiastic tennis player!

On another occasion, I taught this older woman, once a week for a couple of years. No matter what I did, no matter how well she played, she ALWAYS complained about the lesson. So what did I do? I killed her with kindness. Inside I was frustrated, but outside, I was nothing but positive and caring towards her.

Then I started my own company and left the club that I was teaching at. A friend who was still teaching there later told me that she was asking about me. “Where is Ed?”

“He doesn’t teach here anymore – He started his own company.”

And my former pessimistic student responded, “Oh. I always knew he was too good for this place!”

Those were the first positive words I heard come out of her mouth in two years.

So you don’t know what people are thinking.

You don’t know what people are going through.

Many people have bad attitudes because other people have treated them poorly in the past, or they have been conditioned by negative events or thoughts. As coaches, we need to give positive reinforcement to create a paradigm shift.

I hope this helps and please keep in touch. Perhaps I will come give a workshop in Singapore one day soon.

From one coach to another…

All the best,


“Reflect Each Day On All You Have To Be Grateful For And You Will Receive More To Be Grateful For.”

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Bob Emmons at University of California – Davis.

I think that I’m a very happy person. I don’t need gifts for my birthday or special occasions. I don’t need to travel all the time. And I certainly don’t need a huge house or fancy car.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have my problems, and negative feelings come over me just as often as anyone. But long ago, I found a secret that changed my life and today I’m going to share that secret with you…


Being grateful is appreciating all that you have in your life, big and small, good and gad. Here’s what I want you to do: get a notebook and every day, write down five things that you are grateful for. If you write them down at night, before you go to bed, I feel that it is more effective.

You can be grateful for your gym membership or you can be grateful for your Uncle Jim.

When you’re grateful, you don’t need a special occasion to make you feel good – you feel good every day. Life seems to slow down and you start to live in the moment.

And for you athletes, I may be the first person to tell you that gratitude can help you in sports too.

My friend, Bob Emmons is the authority on gratitude in the emerging field of positive psychology. The first thing I ever asked Dr. Emmons, was how gratitude could be applied to sports. His answer was…

“Gratitude produces calm energy, so the grateful tennis player should make fewer unforced errors and have fewer poor mental decision throughout a match, among other positive benefits.”

Emmons also feels that gratitude could help solidarity and team unity.

So write down five things you are grateful for. Do it every day this week. Let me know your feedback.

Thanks for reading.


First of all, a very Merry Christmas for all of you celebrating.

It is 2:34AM on December 25th and I just got back from my amazing Australia and New Zealand trip. I had a wonderful time and met some great people like magician and Houdini expert, Bernard Reid (pictured above with me and the great Melissa Sapio). If you recall, I did not post a message on December 9th because I was crossing the international date line and never experienced December 9, 2008. And my intention was to give you two blog entries for the December 24th because I actually experienced it twice, but our flight was delayed and didn’t get home in time.

Some say that this is the most wonderful time of the year.

Many people like the holidays because they receive gifts. Others enjoy it because they get to give gifts.

My family decided long ago not to exchange gifts with each other (except for the kids) and instead we spend time together.

So if Santa doesn’t bring you what you want this year, don’t worry because they is still plenty to be grateful for.

Here are a few things on my gratitude list:

My friends
My family
My health
My dog
My car
My computer
My house
My clothes
My food
My opportunity to play/teach tennis
My opportunity to help others
My blog readers
My life.

When you focus less on wanting more possessions, and more on being grateful for all the wonderful things you already have, your whole world changes.

Life is beautiful…are you noticing?

Thanks for reading.