Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Julia Santos.
I was working out at the gym the other day and had two thoughts, so I wrote them down in Evernote as soon as I got back to the car.
Thought #1: Stretching at the end of your workout brings oxygen to your muscles and that helps them grow. This is good. However, if you are giving a presentation, competing in a big game, or taking a test and you have insecure thoughts (or any thoughts for that matter) pop up in your head and you make a big deal out of them, they grow and can affect your performance. This is not good. Think of a great performance you have had. Did you have a lot of thinking, or very little thinking? I already know the answer: very little thinking. So it doesn’t make sense to think into your thinking, does it? Thoughts will come into your head, you can’t control that. But you can control whether you give them attention and make them grow…or not.
Thought #2: People say that you are the product of your environment. I disagree. I believe that you are a product of your thinking. Parents say that you shouldn’t hang around the wrong people because you will become one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should hang around with the wrong people, but does everyone that hangs around the “wrong people” become like them? Of course not. Just like nobody’s rude comment can make you feel upset. Only upsetting thoughts can make you feel upset. We live in a world where most people think that something outside of them can affect how they feel, e.g., the weather, referees, parents, the economy, etc. This is simply not true and the more you realize this, the more you are in control and will be able to perform more consistently at a high level. Thought is the source of behavior, not environment.
It’s funny, so often at the gym I have thoughts of “I can’t run any longer” or “I can’t do any more reps,” but I don’t pay attention to those thoughts and pretty soon I have a different thought like “I’ve got this” and I end up running longer and doing more reps. Thoughts are random, they are illusions, and they are made up by you. If you take them seriously, it would be as if you composed and sent a nasty email to yourself, and then opened it and got upset. You don’t see that happening in real life, but it happens all the time on the field, at the office, and in the classroom. People believe their thinking and then they feel their thinking. Our experience is created from the inside-out, whether it’s true or not.
Well, I’ll be heading to yoga tomorrow…I’ll let you know if I have any insights.
Thanks for reading.
Today’s message is especially dedicated to my lovely wife, Sarah. Tomorrow, March 26th will be our 2-year wedding anniversary. We are big fans of Frank Sinatra and often listen to his music while driving in the car.
Frank Sinatra, (aka Ol’ Blue Eyes, The Chairman of the Board and The Voice) was an American singer and actor. Many have called him The World’s Greatest Performer.
Prior to becoming a legend, Francis Albert Sinatra only attended 47 days of high school without graduating. He began singing professionally as a teenager despite learning music by ear and never learning how to read music.
The rest is history. Or as he said, the best was yet to come.
I’m a big fan of Sinatra’s music, but an even bigger fan of his mental game.
When Sinatra was a living legend in his 70s, a reporter once asked him, “Do you ever get nervous when you are on stage?”
Sinatra responded, “Every time my name is announced, the little voice inside my head says, ‘Do I still have it? Do I still have it?'”
Yes, Frank Sinatra got nervous. All the time.
So if the world’s greatest performer got nervous, it’s okay if you get nervous. In fact, it’s normal.
The difference between you and Sinatra is that he didn’t take the little voice inside his head seriously. He didn’t make a big deal of his thoughts and then he proceeded to go out and knock everyone’s socks off.
When people take their thoughts seriously, they start feeling their thoughts, i.e., if they believe their nervous thoughts (whether they are true or not), they will FEEL nervous and their performance will suffer.
You don’t have to have the voice of a Frank Sinatra, or even be a singer for that matter, but you can have the same attitude as he did.
Well, it’s Pi Day again (3.14), March 14 here in Princeton, New Jersey. It is also the great Albert Einstein’s 134th birthday, a former Princetonian. All over town there are math contests, pi eating contests, tours and Einstein look-alikes.
I know what you’re thinking…what does this have to do with me?
Most people would call Albert Einstein a genius.
Here’s how he saw himself…
I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”
When things go wrong, do you get frustrated or fascinated? Do you get irritated or intrigued?
Small children are curious. Everything is full of wonder and excitement to them. And they tend to stay in the present moment.
My friend, Garret Kramer once told me on the phone, “A lot of people say, ‘Live today as if it were your last.’ I say, live today as if it were your FIRST.”
I really like that.
If you live today as if it were your first, you would see and experience things with fresh eyes. You are more in the moment, have more satisfaction, and perform at a higher level. Your mind is clear and you have access to your wisdom, instincts and intuition.
Many people live in the past, and look for the answers in the past. You won’t find them there.
Here’s another Einstein quote…
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
ST = SR (Same Thinking = Same Results)
NT = NR (New Thinking = New Results)
Don’t get me wrong, you don’t need to change your thinking…as a matter of fact, you couldn’t if you tried. New thinking happens on its own when your mind is clear.
When your thinking changes, your experience changes…this is the nature of life. When you truly realize this, you will operate more with a clear mind, and that is when you will experience more peak performances.
Happy Pi Day everyone!
I recently read a promo by a mental performance coach…he said, “Do you think about walking or talking?…No. the mental game is the same way” (I agree).
He then went on to say that he has the best “routines and techniques” to keep your mind clear during competition…
Interesting. Then how come we don’t need “routines and techniques” while walking and talking?
Think about the last time you had a peak performance. Were you using routines and techniques, or were you “just” playing?
I already know the answer.
In my opinion, when we perform at our best, we are “just” doing it and in the moment. So why then, when we are not playing well would we use “routines and techniques” to take us out of the moment?
One of my favorite things to do is to interview gold medalists, world champions, national champions, professional athletes, and performers on their best performances. They never say they “thought” themselves to victory. They always say they were “just” doing it and as a result, they had little thought, performed with freedom and ease…and kicked butt.
Can you remember the last time you “thought” about walking? If you can, you probably stumbled…
Mental Performance Coach
Pro of the Year USTA/NJD 2005
Best-Selling Author and Keynote Speaker
For a free 10-minute consultation on peak performance in athletics, academics, business and life, email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 609.558.1077.
Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Ashley Fisher.
Well, it is currently 11 degrees (but feels like 3 degrees) fahrenheit here in Princeton, New Jersey. Everywhere I go, I hear people complaining about how cold it is outside. It seems to be making many people feel angry, annoyed, and depressed.
It is impossible for the weather to affect how you feel.
Then how do you account for some people hating cold weather and others loving it?
What’s the difference in why they feel one way or the other?
It’s in their thoughts. Feelings are created by thought and thought alone. In other words, nothing outside of you has the ability to affect you.
People who hate the cold have thoughts like, “I really don’t like getting in my car when it’s cold” or “I hate having to scrape off my car.” Then they feel annoyed.
People who love the cold have thoughts like, “This is great skiing weather!” or “This is a perfect hot chocolate day!” Then they feel excited.
When we have a thought, we automatically have a corresponding feeling. 100% of the time. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week…whether you know it’s happening or not.
I know what you’re thinking…”Ed, how do I change my thoughts?!?”
Answer: You can’t.
Your thoughts will change naturally if you don’t make a big deal out of them. For example, if you looked at the weather report and it said it would be 11 degrees today, you might have a thought like, “Gosh, that’s cold, it’s going to be miserable out there today.” If you take that thought seriously, your mood will begin to go down. On the other hand, if you just let that thought pass, a new thought will probably replace it like “Big deal, I’ll just bundle up…I can’t wait to get some fresh, crisp air in my lungs.”
Thoughts come and go and feelings come and go. When we don’t put much value on the content of our thinking, we naturally reset to a place (space) of happiness, clarity, wisdom, and peak performance.
It’s like when you hold a cork under water…if you just let go of the cork, it will float up to the surface all by itself. Your state of mind is the same way.
The only thing holding the cork back is your hand.
The only thing holding your state of mind back is your thinking.
Final thought: You know how people say don’t believe everything you hear? It’s also true that you shouldn’t believe everything you THINK.
Thanks for reading.
Peak Performance Coach
Pro of the Year USTA/NJD 2005
For a free 10-minute consultation, email: email@example.com
Earlier today I spent some time with Heather O’Reilly, US Women’s Soccer player and gold medalist. We chatted about the mental game in soccer and I was impressed at how strong O’Reilly’s mental game was.
I asked O’Reilly if she ever had negative thoughts pop up in her head when competing. Her response?
Everyone has negative thoughts sometimes, but the greatest athletes in the world have a different relationship to their thinking.
When Heather has a negative thought, she doesn’t make a big deal out of it. In fact, it just passes on by and she focuses on the next play.
This is powerful because when we ignore a negative thought, it disappears pretty quickly and our mind naturally clears so we have access to our intuition, wisdom, confidence, energy and peak performance. In other words, we don’t have to believe a negative thought.
If you can remember a time when you were in the “zone,” you probably had very little thinking and the thinking you did have just came and went. On the other hand, when you were in a slump, your head was probably flooded with thoughts like…
“I stink today!”
“What’s wrong with me?!?”
“Why do I keep missing that shot?”
“What will people think if I lose?”
Those thoughts have no power unless we believe them. If we believe them, we allow them to grow and they get bigger and stronger and before we know it, they take over our bodies and minds and we get stuck.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Now, you don’t have to have the experience or soccer skills of a Heather O’Reilly, but you can almost instantly have the mindset of Heather by understanding that negative thoughts are part of the game and it is always our choice whether we feed them, or let them come and go.
I’d love to hear your thoughts so feel free to leave your comments below. Thanks for reading.
For a free 10-minute mental game consultation, email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Today would have been artist, Auguste Rodin’s 172nd birthday. In 1902, Rodin created one of his most famous statues, “The Thinker” (above). In fact, if you look on Google’s homepage today, you can see a sketch of Rodin’s sculpture.
I know what you’re thinking, “What does that have to do with peak performance?”
My answer? Everything.
One of my influences, the late Sydney Banks once said, “The most important thing to remember is it’s not what you think – it’s the fact THAT you think.”
It took me a while to understand exactly what this quote meant, but I think I finally got it.
To me, Banks was saying, it doesn’t matter what our thoughts are because thoughts are neutral. It’s our thoughts about our thoughts that make them positive or negative. (Didn’t Shakespeare say something similar?). When we don’t concern ourselves with the content of our thoughts, they don’t last long. Therefore, we needn’t worry about negative thoughts because all thoughts are fleeting. (Can you remember the last five thoughts you had? I know I can’t).
“It’s the fact THAT you think” is a very powerful statement. I believe the power of thought is the most important thing in the whole world. Thought can create extreme confidence and thought can create complete doubt. Thought creates feelings and thought creates behavior. Don’t believe me? Can you recall the last time you had doubtful thoughts? What was your energy level? Most likely low. What did your body language look like? Most likely poor. You were simply feeling your thinking in that moment.
When you know that you are the “thinker,” you are the artist of your own life, and not affected by circumstances, situations, other people, or who got elected President. You can paint any picture you want and that picture will be your reality (in that moment).
Thought creates our world…not the other way around.
We are the thinker, and we feel our thinking.
Happy Birthday, Auguste Rodin.
Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Mark J. Larose in Clinton, New Jersey.
As athletes, coaches, students, parents and humans, we often get “stuck” in a situation we don’t like, e.g., a difficult competition, test, a difficult child, or natural disaster. As a result, many of us suffer. And our performance/state of mind suffers.
Or so we think.
The truth is, no competition, test, child, or natural disaster can make us suffer. There is only one thing that can make us suffer, and that is our own thoughts. Sad thoughts create sad feelings. Grateful thoughts create grateful feelings. If you have a garden and you plant strawberry seeds, you will get strawberries. If you plant raspberry seeds, you will get raspberries. You can’t get strawberries from raspberry seeds. Your well-being is the same way: you can’t get grateful feelings from sad thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have sad thoughts. What I am saying is that it is your choice whether you stay with sad thoughts or just let them pass.
In life, most of us think that something, someone, or some situation makes us feel a certain way. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. If something outside of us truly could affect our feelings, then everyone would have the same reaction to the same situation.
Recently, here on the East Coast, Hurricane Sandy caused some major damage and many people were suffering, sad, frustrated and angry. But not everyone. Some people were extremely grateful for what they have in life. Others were inspired to help friends, family, neighbors, and strangers who didn’t have power, heat or homes. We all have separate realities, meaning we all see things differently. Therefore, it is not the “outside” that creates our happiness or sorrow, it is the “inside” that creates it. And that “inside” is our thoughts.
Recently, my good friend, Mark J. Larose posted on Facebook, “OK..I know there is much suffering going on…at different levels for many people. So, post here…Tell me something you are Thankful for Today. Anything. For me, I thankful that my friends are safe. Some are cold, and without power, but they weren’t hurt.”
I responded with:
I am thankful for knowing no matter what happens in life, we can all CHOOSE how we look at the situation or our circumstances. Many people are angry at “Sandy” for doing so much damage. Part of me is grateful for “Sandy” because she/he was a reminder that like a hurricane, we could have disaster happening all around us, but we (the eye of the hurricane) can still be calm and at peace. The eye of the hurricane has no clouds and blue skies can be seen from it. To me, life is not about what happens to us, but what we THINK about what happens to us.
I admit, at times during this past week I have felt sad, angry, and frustrated, but I know they were coming from my own thinking. And I know that it is normal. When I recognize that I am just thinking sad, angry, and frustrating thoughts, and I don’t need to keep thinking about them, my mood naturally rises. It’s that simple.
Having said that, I hope this message finds you and your loved ones safe and sound. I know some of you have lost personal items, had damage, and have been evacuated from your homes, but please remember, situations are inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Please feel free to contact me if you should need any assistance, a charging station, or a hot shower.
With love and gratitude,