MESSAGE #949 ACTING OUT

The key to mental toughness is staying in the present moment. Whenever we are not performing well, we are usually focused on either the past or the future, but the power is in the present. Below is a great excerpt from a great book…

The people who bother us most often reflect aspects of ourselves that we haven’t yet allowed into our present-moment awareness. These aspects reside in what psychologists refer to as the “shadow.” Pretending to be the people who bother us, and acting out those people’s worst qualities, is a powerful way to bring what’s in shadow to light.

The Practice:

Pick someone who really bugs you, who has a behavior so annoying that it makes you cringe. Now act out this person’s behavior. Don’t just make a timid attempt–exaggerate the quality until you can really feel it. Continue acting this way for at least a few minutes. When you’re done, investigate whether even a trace of this annoying quality exists in yourself. If so, are you willing to accept it? Keep in mind that complete acceptance is always the first step toward positive change.

(From “How Now” by Raphael Cushnir)

MESSAGE #947 A GREAT STORY

In this video blog, Ed Tseng, Pro of the Year USTA 2005 and author of “Game. Set. Life.” shares a great story about “acting as if” and peak performance in sports and life.

MESSAGE #946 WALK LIKE A MATADOR

It’s easier to act yourself into a way of feeling than it is to feel yourself into a way of acting.

Dr. Jim Loehr once watched hundreds of hours of videotape of professional tennis matches and noticed a difference between the champions and everybody else. The difference wasn’t talent or skills, but what they did in the 15-20 seconds between points.

“Champions like Chris Evert…kept their heads high even when they’d lost a point, maintaining a confident posture that telegraphed no big deal. Loehr nicknamed this ‘the matador walk’ after a Spanish matador told him, ‘The most important lesson in courage is physical, not mental. From the age of 12, I was taught to walk in a way that produces courage.’

The tennis champions like Evert would next concentrate their gazes on their rackets or touch the strings with their fingers and stroll toward the back court–focusing, avoiding distraction, relaxing, and effectively letting the past go. After this mini-meditation, they’d turn back toward the net, bounce on their toes, and visualize playing the next point.” (Source: Psychotherapy Networker; “Living on Purpose” by Katy Butler)

What’s the point?

How you act is how you are going to feel.

Act how you want to feel and you will feel the way you act.

MESSAGE #944 TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY THAT MATTERS

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten,
either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.
-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

My only question to you is…

ARE YOU GOING ALL OUT?

If you’re a writer, write things that are worth reading. But if you’re not a writer, do things worth writing about.

I may not know you, but I know THIS about you…

 

1. You have unlimited potential.

2. All of the ability is already inside you (you just have to discover the strategy).

3. You can learn any skill, mental or physical.

4. You can’t win when you’re focused on winning.

5. You don’t have to be great at the start, but you need to start to be great.

 

So today is the only day that matters. Why?

Because you can only live one day at a time.

Make every day the most important day of your life.

Make every practice the most important practice of your life.

Make every competition the most important competition of your life.

If you do this, I’m sure you will be pleased with the results.

Go all out today!

MESSAGE #943 A MENTAL TOUGHNESS EXERCISE

It’s not what’s happening around you. It’s not what’s happening to you. What matters most is what’s happening inside you.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Steven Nakagama Magee in Millburn, NJ.

EXERCISE:

Think back to a “good day” in your sport. Visualize what went on before, during and after that peak performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Now go back to a “bad day” that you had. Visualize what went on before, during and after that poor performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Compare the two.

The difference is always in your head.

So what does this mean?

It means you have to be mindful of your self-talk during practice and competition.

Instead of breaking yourself down, build yourself up.

MESSAGE #942 THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Lewis Howes.

Does your day determine your attitude or does your attitude determine your day?
-COACH DARREN VENTRE

Does how you play determine your attitude or does your attitude determine how you play?
-ED TSENG, author of “Game. Set. Life.” and Pro of the Year USTA 2005

True champions can do their best when they feel their worst. Anyone can perform well when they feel good.

But the great ones are able to perform well even when they don’t have their “A” game.

Will you act how you feel, or will you act like how you WANT to feel?

It’s your choice whether you act like a winner, or you act like a whiner.

If you practiced your sport today for ten hours, would you really wake up tomorrow morning a better athlete?

No.

But do you know how you CAN instantly become better?

By having a winning mindset and by having a winning attitude.

I taught a boy yesterday in a group lesson. He seemed low energy and I asked him if he was tired; he said yes. I told him that it was okay to feel tired, but he didn’t have to ACT tired. He smiled, and said, “Okay.”

He then proceeded to increase his energy and ended up playing great the rest of the lesson.

You don’t have to be a talented, gifted or a world champion to have a winning attitude. Anyone can do it, it’s a choice.

Who has the best attitude that you know?

MESSAGE #940 A GREAT OLYMPIC STORY

In 1938, Karoly Takacs of the Hungarian Army, was the top pistol shooter in the world. He was expected to win the gold in the 1940 Olympic Games scheduled for Tokyo.

Those expectations vanished one terrible day just months before the Olympics. While training with his army squad, a hand grenade exploded in Takacs’ right hand, and Takacs’ shooting hand was blown off.

Takacs spent a month in the hospital depressed at both the loss of his hand, and the end to his Olympic dream. At that point most people would have quit. And they would have probably spent the rest of their life feeling sorry for themselves. Most people would have quit but not Takacs. Takacs was a winner. Winners know that they can’t let circumstances keep them down. They understand that life is hard and that they can’t let life beat them down. Winners know in their heart that quitting is not an option.

Takacs did the unthinkable; he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and decided to learn how to shoot with his left hand! His reasoning was simple. He simply asked himself, “Why not?”

Instead of focusing on what he didn’t have – a world class right shooting hand, he decided to focus on what he did have – incredible mental toughness, and a healthy left hand that with time, could be developed to shoot like a champion.

For months Takacs practiced by himself. No one knew what he was doing. Maybe he didn’t want to subject himself to people who most certainly would have discouraged him from his rekindled dream.

In the spring of 1939 he showed up at the Hungarian National Pistol Shooting Championship. Other shooters approached Takacs to give him their condolences and to congratulate him on having the strength to come watch them shoot. They were surprised when he said, “I didn’t come to watch, I came to compete.” They were even more surprised when Takacs won!

The 1940 and 1944 Olympics were cancelled because of World War II. It looked like Takacs’ Olympic Dream would never have a chance to realize itself. But Takacs kept training and in 1944 he qualified for the London Olympics. At the age of 38, Takacs won the Gold Medal and set a new world record in pistol shooting. Four years later, Takacs won the Gold Medal again at the 1952 Helsinki Olympics. Takacs – a man with the mental toughness to bounce back from anything.

Winners in every field have a special trait that helps them become unstoppable. A special characteristic that allows them to survive major setbacks on the road to success. Winners recover QUICKLY. Bouncing back is not enough. Winners bounce back QUICKLY. They take their hit, they experience their setback, they have the wind taken out of their sails, but they immediately recover. Right away they FORCE themselves to look at the bright side of things – ANY bright side, and they say to themselves, “That’s OK. There is always a way. I will find a way.” They dust themselves off, and pick up where they left off.

The reason quick recovery is important is that if you recover quickly, you don’t lose your momentum and your drive. Takacs recovered in only one month. If he had wallowed in his misery, if he had stayed “under the circumstances,” if he had played the martyr, and felt sorry for himself much longer, he would have lost his mental edge – his “eye of the tiger” and he never would have been able to come back.

When a boxer gets knocked down, he has ten seconds to get back up. If he gets up in eleven seconds, he loses the fight. Remember that next time you get knocked down.

Takacs definitely had a right to feel sorry for himself. He had a right to stay depressed and to ask himself “Why me?” for the rest of his life. He had the right to act like a mediocre man.

Takacs could have let his terrible accident cause him to become permanently discouraged, to take up heavy drinking, to quit on life alltogether, and maybe even to end his own life. He could have acted like a loser.

But Takacs made the DECISION to dig deep inside and to find a solution. To pick himself up and to learn to shoot all over again. Winners always search for a solution. Losers always search for an escape.

Next time you get knocked down, DECIDE you will act like a winner. DECIDE to act like Takacs. Get up quickly, take action, and astound the world!

(By Ruben Gonzalez, three-time Olympian)

MESSAGE #936 VISION

The best way to predict the future is to create it.
-ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Vicky Lelgant in Los Angeles. Happy Birthday to an amazing artist.

What’s your vision?

I had a vision of an artist turning me into an anime character, for my website and promotional items, as well as for a comic book I am writing.

Enter Vicky Lelgant, a former tennis student of mine, who graduated from SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) and currently living in Los Angeles. I asked Vicky if she could take on this task. She said yes.

The finished product is seen above in my blog’s welcome message. I am more than pleased with it.

Some people dream and others stay awake and make things happen.

What is your vision? What do you want to accomplish? Who do you want to become? What steps are you taking to get you there?

Remember, the best way to predict the future…is to create it.

 

Thanks for reading.

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MESSAGE #764 HOW GOLF CAN HELP YOU…

Know what you want
Believe in what you want
See it happen

Recently, I took a yoga class with one of the top yoga instructors in the country, the great Naime Jezzeny in New Hope, PA. He walked into the class and said “I have a book for you.” So he let me borrow a book called, “The Seven Principles of Golf – Mastering the Mental Game On and Off the Course” by Darrin Gee.

I’m not a golfer, but that doesn’t matter…

The Third Principle in his book is VISUALIZE THE SHOT. Gee breaks visualization down into three steps:

1. Knowing what you want
2. Picturing or visualizing what you want (the path of the ball) in your mind’s eye
3. Trusting and committing to that visualization 100 percent

When I teach tennis, after a student misses a shot, I always first ask them, “Did you have a target?”

99 percent of the time they say no.

When I ask them if they had a target, that’s code for “I know you didn’t have a target.”

Even if you hit a great shot, it’s luck if you didn’t plan to do it. At any level, you need to have a target. In any area of life, you need to have a purpose.

Next, visualize the path of the ball. When you are playing your sport, you should visualize the ball going where you want, the trajectory, spin, etc. And if you are a student, musician or business professional, you should visualize the steps you will take to reach your goal.

Finally, trust and commit to your visualization. You need to be confident in your plan. Expect it to happen. The truth is, sometimes it may not happen, but if you focused on the right process, that’s all that matters. Perhaps you need to make an adjustment. And that’s okay.

Sports and life are not about doing something one hundred times. Sports and life are about making one hundred adjustments. If you focus on the things you can control, you will have more fun, continue to improve and win more.


Thanks for reading.