Ed Tseng interviews Paolo Colandrea, the “Mystery Man” from the final episode of The Sopranos at his restaurant in Penndel, Pennsylvania. https://www.edtseng.com
Enjoy my first video blog with the great Bob Ryland, Arthur Ashe’s hero, and the first black professional tennis player, at his home in New York City. https://www.edtseng.com
Happy Bob Ryland Day to everyone in Mobile, Alabama…and also, of course to the great Bob Ryland in NYC.
Today’s message is especially dedicated to Coach Mark L in Singapore.
Here’s an email I received at 5:19 this morning from Singapore…
Mark L (Singapore)
Here is my response…
Thank you for your email and kind words – I love hearing from readers. I also have much gratitude for you reading my daily blog. How did you find it, and what sport do you coach?
Of course I don’t mind you sharing my blog messages with your students. Many coaches print my messages and hand them out to their students. You may also be interested in my book, “Game. Set. Life. – Peak Performance for Sports and Life.” as well.
To answer your question about how to handle students with bad attitudes, I will begin with this…
Praise in public, scold in private.
Here’s what I mean – the best thing to do is catch students doing something right and then say something like, “Bobby, I like how you hustled for that ball!”
Then, that will register with Bobby and he is more likely to do that again.
If you put Bobby down, or punish Bobby, you may get some results, but he will not respect you or have fun.
There may be times when you need to be more stern with Bobby. Wait until after class and tell him that you like him and want him to improve. That you expect a lot out of him and he should expect a lot out of himself. In some cases, Bobby may be extremely bad, then you may warn him that he may have to find a different class, but that would be a last resort.
Once I was teaching a boy who had all the talent in the world, but clearly wasn’t having fun and had a poor attitude. I tried everything, but nothing worked. So finally, when we were picking up balls one day, I asked him if he liked tennis. He said, “No, my mom makes me come.”
I said, “Well, since you’re here, let’s make the most of it and have some fun.” I began asking him what he DID enjoy doing and he mentioned some video games and TV shows. I talked to him about them and then something amazing happened. He started smiling a bit. And then he started smiling a lot. His feet started moving and he began hitting the fuzz off of the ball! He became an enthusiastic tennis player!
On another occasion, I taught this older woman, once a week for a couple of years. No matter what I did, no matter how well she played, she ALWAYS complained about the lesson. So what did I do? I killed her with kindness. Inside I was frustrated, but outside, I was nothing but positive and caring towards her.
Then I started my own company and left the club that I was teaching at. A friend who was still teaching there later told me that she was asking about me. “Where is Ed?”
“He doesn’t teach here anymore – He started his own company.”
And my former pessimistic student responded, “Oh. I always knew he was too good for this place!”
Those were the first positive words I heard come out of her mouth in two years.
So you don’t know what people are thinking.
You don’t know what people are going through.
Many people have bad attitudes because other people have treated them poorly in the past, or they have been conditioned by negative events or thoughts. As coaches, we need to give positive reinforcement to create a paradigm shift.
I hope this helps and please keep in touch. Perhaps I will come give a workshop in Singapore one day soon.
From one coach to another…
All the best,
Today’s message is especially dedicated to Sergeant Longo of the Lawrence Township Police Department.
Can you control what happens to you?
Can you control what your opponent does?
Can you control what the weather is like?
Can you control what your co-workers do?
NO…so why worry about it?
Focus on what you CAN control, like your attitude and effort.
“It’s not what’s happening TO you, it’s all about what’s happening INSIDE you. If you want to be as good as the Williams sisters, all you have to do is train like they train. Greatness is already inside you.”
-BOB RYLAND, the first black professional tennis player
Happy Chinese New Year!
Thanks for reading.
Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Derek Jeter.
Many people ask me what it takes to be a winner.
Most people think winning is the result you get, whether it’s money, a trophy, grades or a raise.
I call those things by-products.
Winning, in my mind, is your effort.
If you do your best…how can you do any better?
If you have the right attitude, you can overcome any obstacle or condition.
And if you have character, well then you’ve got it all.
Last night I watched the final game at Yankee Stadium. I enjoyed the game, the re-caps, the tributes and my own personal memories of the House that Ruth Built. It was hard to choose one thing to blog about, but after the game, I knew instantly…
After the final out and some celebration, the New York Yankees and their captain, Derek Jeter, took the microphone at the pitcher’s mound.
Jeter spoke on behalf of the team and he didn’t talk about how great they were, or their 26 World Championships.
He talked about what an honor it was to put on the pinstripes. And talked about how it was a team effort from players present and past. And most importantly, they thanked their fans…and they meant it. That’s class.
Many people hate the Yankees because they have won so much and they have such a big payroll. I can see that. But I’m a Yankee for life because they have class. They are professionals. And last night confirmed it.
Yankee Stadium…thanks for the memories.
Thanks for reading.
Hope to see you tonight at the first book signing of “Game. Set. Life.” at Amalfi’s Restaurant in Lawrenceville, 7-9 PM.