I once had a student who hated being embarrassed. During lessons and during competition, he would just drive himself crazy thinking about what people thought about how he was playing, and what they would think if he lost, or missed a shot.
Guess how he played?
The reason why this type of focus hurts your performance is because when you focus on external factors, you are not focusing on what is going to help you play your best game.
The way to play your best game is to focus on your strategy, your effort, your attitude. If your strategy isn’t working, make an adjustment.
The key is to NOT let anything external have any influence over you.
Is it hard?
Is it a choice?