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MESSAGE #710 WHAT ADVERSITY?

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“Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. And most of all, people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.”
-JEFFREY GITOMER

I had a powerful night last night.

My radio show on Overcoming Adversity (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Game-Set-Life/2009/07/06/Overcoming-Adversity) featured the great Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player, Jennie Murphy, a legally blind student-athlete and Rayna DuBose, a Division I full-scholarship basketball phenom, turned amputee, turned motivational speaker.

If you think life is difficult for you, think again. It’s all perspective.

Bob Ryland lived through segregation and had to sit at the back of the bus and use separate public drinking fountains and restrooms.

Jennie Murphy is legally blind and wears hearing aids. She plays four sports and is quarterback when she plays football. Her receivers clap loudly to tell her where to throw the ball.

Rayna DuBose was a superstar high school basketball player and got a full-ride to Virginia Tech. After her freshman year, she contracted a form of meningitis and within 24 hours, lost everything. She had her four limbs amputated. A year later, she went back to Virginia Tech, finished up her degree and was assistant coach for the basketball team. Now she is a motivational speaker.

If you look at these stories, life seems difficult.

But these are three of the most optimistic people I know.

They don’t believe they have disabilities or went through hell. They feel it is what it is and your attitude determines how high you go.

Will you have pressure?

Of course, but it’s what you do under that pressure that counts.

What gives you pressure? How will you handle it?

No pressure, no diamond.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #682 TEAMWORK…

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the special guests on my radio show last night – Bob Ryland (the first black professional tennis player), Carling Bassett-Seguso (former world #8 player), Linda Courier (mother of Jim Courier, former world #1 player), and Denise Capriati (mother of Jennifer Capriati, former world #1 player).

We had a great radio show last night on how sports help you in life. As you can see, I had a powerful line-up of guests talking about their experiences in the game of tennis and their own lives.

In my book, “Game. Set. Life.” I share some of the mental secrets of the greatest athletes and successful people in history. I want to create a paradigm shift in how people teach, play and view sports. But I can’t accomplish my goals on my own. Last night, my guests helped support the message. We talked about teamwork and how nobody can do it on their own. They need help from others.

What are your goals?
Who is helping you reach those goals?
Are you making a difference?

Right after you read this blog message, think about what you want to accomplish in life. REALLY think about it. Combine what you love with what you’re good at. Help others. And have others help you.


Thanks for reading.

If you missed last night’s radio show, you can listen to the recording here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Game-Set-Life/2009/06/11/Sport-is-Life

MESSAGE #661 DIDN’T HAVE TIME, BUT DID IT ANYWAY…

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“How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

Well, today is Day 2 of my 21 day program of exercise, meditation, and organization. I didn’t really have time to exercise this morning, as I’m about to catch the 7:36am train into the city, but I did it anyway. I also meditated and feel great. I will certainly organize later today.

Life is about moments.

Yesterday I talked about doing what you need to do.

Today, I’m telling you that after you do those things, create moments for today.

We tend to think that we will live forever.

We accumulate “things” and save all of our money, but we can’t take those things with us, can we? It doesn’t matter if you’re the richest person in the graveyard.

At the end of your life, it is the moments that you will remember. And it is the things that you wish you had done.

Go all out in life.

Go all out in your sport.

Make every day count.

We only have one chance at this wonderful thing called life.

Start taking guitar lessons. Start taking cooking classes. Make time for reading.

What am I doing today?

Playing tennis in Central Park with the great Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player.

Talk about moments.


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #546 WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL…

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to Sergeant Longo of the Lawrence Township Police Department.

Can you control what happens to you?
Can you control what your opponent does?
Can you control what the weather is like?
Can you control what your co-workers do?

NO…so why worry about it?

Focus on what you CAN control, like your attitude and effort.

“It’s not what’s happening TO you, it’s all about what’s happening INSIDE you. If you want to be as good as the Williams sisters, all you have to do is train like they train. Greatness is already inside you.”
-BOB RYLAND, the first black professional tennis player

Happy Chinese New Year!


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #543 ARTHUR ASHE’S HERO AT ARTHUR ASHE’S PLACE…

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to all the student-athletes, coaches, staff and parents at Arthur Ashe Youth Tennis and Education in Philadelphia.

So yesterday I gave a talk with the great Bob Ryland at Arthur Ashe Youth Tennis and Education. We started at the nearby NBC studios with a live segment on the 4pm news. From there, we drove back to AAYTE for interviews with Brad Nau of Comcast SportsNet and then, Johannah Bennett brought some kids over for a meet and greet session and another interview. KYW radio also stopped Bob on the way up to our talk for some brief words.

Bob began talking about his life and the lessons he has learned. We have all read about blacks and segregation and tennis in the history books, but last night, about 80 people in Philadelphia heard it live from someone who lived through it. I have heard his story many times and it never fails to amaze me.

There were three television stations there, some newspapers and photographers, as well. Bob and I talked about the mental side of tennis and life. I asked him if he was nervous, and he replied, “I’m nervous all the time.” So if a living legend can be nervous, it’s okay for you to be nervous, just don’t show it.

Character was one of the topics we talked about, being a good person. Working hard. Listening. Mr. Ryland went through hell, but he still has character. A lot of character. It’s a major commitment for an 88 year old man to drive from New York City to Philadelphia, but he did it to talk to the kids. To make a difference. He’s leaving a legacy. Mr. Ryland was handed an honorarium check from Eric Dolaway, program director, for his time and travel. Guess what?

He handed it back and said, “Use if for the kids and your program.”

That’s character.
Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #542 PHILADELPHIA HERE I COME…

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Today I will be giving a talk at Arthur Ashe Youth Tennis and Education with Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player. It comes at a good time, just after the inauguration of our first black president and just before Black History Month.

We will be interviewed live on NBC Philadelphia at their studios and then by Comcast Sportsnet. There will also be several local newspapers reporting the event. Our talk begins at 7pm.

Now I know what you’re thinking…what does a Chinese-American tennis pro have to do with this?

I’ll tell you what. It’s not about the color of your skin. It’s about people helping people. It’s about giving people hope.

If I can fail out of college twice and become Pro of the Year and Mr. Ryland can overcome segregation and other challenges, imagine what YOU can do…

The message today will be…

YOU CAN DO IT!

Check back tomorrow for a full report.


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #528 I’M PLAYING IN THE US OPEN TODAY!

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It is many a child’s dream to play in the US Open.

Today, I will be playing at the US Open, Billie Jean King National Tennis Center in their brand new indoor facility.

Am I playing for money?
No.

Is it a tournament?
No.

I am hitting with sports agent, Ian Rubel.

I work hard, but I play hard. See, success is not about money. There is nothing wrong with making money, but many people think that in order to be happy, they need a lot of money. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Success is about enjoying the journey.
Working hard and playing hard.
Making a difference in the world-every day.
Making the best of every situation.
Being nice.
Having gratitude for all the big and little things in your life.

In these tough economic times, it’s easy to say, “Why me?” but it’s all perception. Even though you may be out of a job, there are people in the world that don’t even know if they will live long enough to have their next meal. Bob Ryland, the first black tennis pro, went through hell, but if you look at him, he is always smiling and laughing.

Don’t look for success in money or material things.
Don’t look for success in the future…

Success is already inside you. Enjoy today, it’s all we have right now.


Thanks for checking in.

MESSAGE #495 HERE’S THE SECRET…

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Ian Rubel.

Recently, I have spent quite a bit of time with Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player. In our conversations, we talk about playing and teaching tennis, the experiences he’s gone through, and life.

Mr. Ryland has seen it all. He lived through segregation before Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. He has coached some of the best players in the world. Earlier this week, Bob and I were sitting at his kitchen table in his apartment overlooking the New York City skyline when he told me the secret.

“You gotta work hard. If you want to become as good as the Williams sisters, you have to train like the Williams sisters. They are not more talented than everyone else, they just work harder. And don’t give up.”

So you have to put in the work. There is no substitute. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. There’s plenty of talented people out there, but it’s the ones that work hard and keep going that succeed.

“Arthur Ashe wasn’t a great player. I wasn’t a great player. Ivan Lendl wasn’t a great player. We just worked hard,” said Mr. Ryland.

Pete Sampras said the accomplishment he is most proud of is finishing number one in the world, six years in a row. He said, “To me, greatness lies in going out there day after day and getting the job done.”

So work hard at practice, at work, at school, but remember something else that Bob Ryland said…

“Have fun!”


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #492 A DAY WITH A LIVING LEGEND…

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Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player.


Bob’s wife Nancy said he couldn’t put the book down!


New friends. Notice the photos of Bob and Arthur Ashe in the background.


A wonderful gift from the great one.

So yesterday I spent the day with Bob Ryland. I don’t know where to begin. It’s amazing enough that he was the first black professional tennis player. But he was also Arthur Ashe’s hero. He coached the Williams sisters, and travelled around the world as Bill Cosby’s personal tennis coach.

I went to Mr. Ryland’s apartment on the Upper West Side of New York City to talk about the book he wants me to help him write. I hit the record button on the brand new bright white digital recorder as the 88 year old tennis legend talked about his life, on and off the court. He brought me back in time to his early days in Alabama around the 1920s. He was called racist names and frequently saw blacks “strung up” in the trees outside his front door while walking to school in the morning. He really had to sit in the back of the bus, and if it was too full, he had to either stand or get off. They had separate bathrooms and water fountains for blacks. And in college, the black players had to wait until night to sneak into the dorms to sleep. The white boys on the tennis team went into the shops to get them food and brought it to them. And yes, he almost got killed several times.

I have read about those days in the history books, but Bob Ryland lived those days. If Bob was a bitter man, I probably wouldn’t blame him, but he says, “I’m just a regular guy. I overcame adversity and became better because of it.”

Bob has coached the Williams sisters and told me a secret. “They weren’t more talented than everyone else, they just worked harder. 6am to 6pm was their workout schedule.” So if you want to become a great tennis player, just train like a great tennis player.

So Bob knows the importance of overcoming adversity and how hard work beats talent, but the thing that really stuck with me is that Bob really is just a regular guy.

I asked him what the most important lessons he has learned in his life and he said: be a good person, listen, and smile.

He didn’t mention anything about tennis…a regular guy?

I don’t think so.

None of my blog readers should ever complain that their life is tough.

” ‘Game. Set. Life.’ can help you accomplish whatever you want in life and teach you how to stay ahead of the game, concentrate, focus, and give you confidence. I wish I had read this book when I was playing.”
-BOB RYLAND, December 2, 2008, New York City


Thanks for reading.

Checkout “Game. Set. Life.” in The Daily Racquet in Hawaii…

http://dailyracquet.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/12/index.html

MESSAGE #485 A NIGHT TO REMEMBER…

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Former NYC Mayor David Dinkins shows his “Game. Set. Life.” spirit at the Harlem Junior Tennis and Education Fundraiser.


Justin Gimelstob and James Blake


Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player


Junior Clinic


The Juniors and Celebrities

The Harlem Junior Tennis and Education Program (www.harlemjuniortennis.org) started back in 1972 and their motto is, “Not just a program – a way of life.”
Yesterday, I stopped by their annual fundraiser to donate a copy of my book to the program and to take some photos and interview some people for my blog.

Katrina Adams is the executive director, and she says, “We use tennis as a vehicle to get kids to go to college.”

The fundraiser included a one-hour junior clinic, a cocktail reception, with silent and live auction and a celebrity exhibition.
James Blake was there. Justin Gimelstob was there. Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player was there. Former NYC Mayor David Dinkins was there.
I spent some time with each of these great individuals.
I asked James Blake how he felt about the event and program.
“I love it. It’s where I used to play and the volunteers truly make it special. I’ve been coming back for seven or eight years now. I see some familiar faces and some new faces. This program is really about life. You learn to compete, improve, set goals, and work hard.”
Justin Gimelstob added, “This is my first year and the Blake brothers are really doing a great thing here. They’re really giving back. The student athletes in this program are learning about success and failure, how to overcome adversity, and it’s quite an opportunity.”
*Note: James and Thomas Blake both went through this program and went on to Harvard.
Bob Ryland, now 88, was the first black professional tennis player. Prior to turning pro at age 35, he was the #1 ranked player in the
ATA (American Tennis Association), which was for black tennis players. At age 14, the great Arthur Ashe said, “I just want to be as good as Bob Ryland.” Ryland has coached the Williams sisters, Bill Cosby, Tony Bennett, Barbara Streisand, and Dustin Hoffman, among others. I asked him if he thought the Williams sisters were more talented than everyone else and Ryland responded, in his soft voice, “I don’t think they were more talented than everyone else, they just worked harder.” Ryland feels that the Harlem Tennis and Education Program is a great opportunity for the kids and it gives them options that he never had growing up.
I also had a great conversation with former NYC Mayor, David Dinkins. “I am very enthused about this event. They are doing very important work here. Some of these children could grow up and become the next James Blake, or get a scholarship for college. But the main benefit of this program is to make all of them better people; it’s about life lessons.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Also participating, were Thomas Blake, Kristie Ahn, Gail Brodsky, Gail Marquis, of the silver medal 1976 US Basketball team, and David Graham.
I left the event inspired, motivated, and in awe because I gave James Blake, Justin Gimelstob, Katrina Adams, Bob Ryland and Mayor Dinkins my autograph (inside “Game. Set. Life.”).
Thanks for reading.
BE SURE TO CHECKOUT “GAME. SET. LIFE.” IN THIS MONTH’S ISSUE OF INSIDE TENNIS MAGAZINE (p 34).